Simply, it is devastating. I do not find any meaning in whatever I am doing now. and it is sickening. I mean the more I hear about the world the more I do not want to live. Ignorance is bliss. no doubt about this. I mean, I am not stressed solely because of A level. but I am more stressed and pissed because of all the insecurity and uncertainties. Will my hard work be paid off? or is this even hard enough? wtf. and although people comforting themselves by saying that after A level, everything will be over. but I am scared of things that will happen after the A level. I really feel like let go off whatever things that I am holding on to or rather dangling on. It is just sick and I know you will say, you have been withstanding it for so many years and now you want to give up? It is such a waste. Go and die if you do not know how I feel. I do not miss anyone in particular. but of course I have to admit I miss my family so badlymadly and Ms Casablanca who loves to swim at night. Whatever it is, I am saying that I am unhappy and I know this will not help me in anyway. Eww. Life sucks to the max and now currently Olly finds no meaning in everything. wonderful. cheer.

and most importantly, nothing matters to me now.